On route back to Toronto from Montreal, I asked if they can change my rear facing train seat to become a forward facing one due to the inevitable motion sickness. The staff compassionately understood me, and before swiftly printing out my new train ticket, she asked for my ID, and I handed her my BC drivers license. Unbeknownst to her that I lived in Toronto now, she smiled gently, and just said: “oh, wow, you’ve come a long way. “
It wasn’t a significant comment, but perhaps it struck the chord when all our feeds are flooded with inspirational yet daunting posts of what we expect at the end of a decade. The posts demand attention, requiring me to reflect. They asked that we take a trip down traumas, regrets, quick pit stops at joys and celebrations. They require us to dismantle the ostentatious facade for a moment. It has been a long way.
The path to unlearning has proven to be a tenuous road. Relearning has also been more exhilarating and fun than I had thought. I think ten years ago I cared less where I thought I would be. More welcoming of uncertainty and trusting. And that has been a lesson in unlearning, that I don’t need to know everything. I lost bits of myself in unhealthy relationships, questioned my worth, burdened by feeling I need to be responsible for other’s happiness. Relearning has given me moments of joy where I can sit and read and learn, knowing that I am chosen and loved.
I think we can learn a lot from the last decade to better our next decade, but maybe there are also opportunities to go back to where started. We are not dwellers, but maybe that person we started at can give us hope that we can unlearn or relearn. Newness is imminent, but we can define where that newness can be birthed from, and it might be where we least expect it to be planted.
